Present Presence

Distracted by Desires

Have you ever found yourself in a posture, let’s say Head-to-Knee and caught yourself pondering what’s for dinner? I have. In fact, I’ve weekly meal planned during yoga practice.

The daily To-Do lists, daydreams, vacation planning, bucket list creations, fantasizing about the future, remembering the past; it is all likely to bubble to the surface at one point or another during practice.

At times, while in a Warrior or a Forward Fold (or any asana I’ve done), I catch myself daydreaming. The daydream feels like an important part of the practice- empowering, strengthening, and educational.

Indeed, being in physical postures coupled with the power of imagination does add strength. It strengthens the personal sense of what I want, what I am ambitious to do, for instance.

It makes a lot of sense that daydreaming occurs during yoga. A yoga practice relaxes the body. Yoga practice has potential to settle and clear the mind. The body and the mind relax together conjoined with the steady flow of breath. This overall relaxation response triggers our innate playfulness. The mind wanders on its own within the safety of this relaxation. It can feel like going for a walk in nature or a Sunday drive- completely refreshing.

Practice of Presence

However, it occurs to me that all this daydreaming is not the same as paying attention.  It is not the same as being present for the practice. While it may feel good and pleasant, the ego is in the driver seat. With ego in the driver seat, when does wisdom get to drive?

If yoga is the practice of building personal resilience and allowing for skilled responses to life, then ego could more often recede to the background and let wisdom shine forth. Thankfully, this is where practice comes to the rescue.

Where is the breath? What are the qualities of the breath right now? What are the sensations occurring right now? What does it feel like to sustain Warrior at this moment? What does the transition to the other side feel like? What muscles are being used right now? What feels open and free? Is there an area of the pose that feels blocked?   

Or conversely, no questions to ask at all simply breathe and notice. Exist without agenda, without a destination or outcome in mind.

Observing Our Personal Experience

It is pretty funny at times- the many mental wanderings that occur and how strongly the ego shows up. From the mundane to the extraordinary, from superficial to significant.  The craving for a coffee beverage during practice. Suddenly remembering laundry or the need to return a phone call. Work concerns, family responsibilities, goal setting, you name it.  

The differing desires and wants are part of human experience. Isn’t it interesting!? It’s interesting to take it all in. Yes! As I practice yoga and live life, I am learning to look beyond the superficial realities. The presence of practice has helped me get to that seeing, and remembering to look.

This brings me to speak of the niyama: Swadhyaya, self-study.  In yoga, knowing the self is practice. Slowing down long enough to observe, is practice.

As 2020 draws to a close and New Year’s Resolutions are made, this is a particularly potent time for self-study and reflection. I am reminding myself on the mat, and with the writing of this post, to peer beyond the often amplified demands of my ego and listen for wisdom and truth.

What are your practices for looking beyond the personal…the Ego? What wisdom and truth could possibly be waiting for you to see and hear?

A New Year’s Affirmation Offering to self-study:

I make efforts to know myself, during practice and in life.  I am patient with myself and my desires. I approach my life with compassionate self-awareness.

-Namaste-

Happy New Year Yogis!